Almighty Vacationer from Egypt to the Shadow Realm
by SpookyChild
Summary: Yami and co. go to Kaiba's beach house for the summer and they do...things...that make the story funny.


Yami: Almighty Vacationer from Egypt to the Shadow Realm! 

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Go SpookyChild and her amazing ability to write numerous stories and never finish them! Go me! So Yami does stuff. Read it.

Disclaimer: Hehe… yes, I own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Chapter One: Car Pools and Sex Games.

Yami and his Aibou Yuugi giggled from their place in the room they shared. They were right in the middle of their favorite game; "How The Pool-Boy Got His Raise".

"Oh, sir, I'm ever-so worried as to how I'm going to afford my rent this month." Yuugi said in a fake voice. He let out another high-pitched giggle. Yami smirked.

"Oh, I think we can figure out something…" Just then, the phone rang. Yami frowned. "Damn. No, don't answer it." He told Yuugi. Yuugi shrugged.

"Fine." He grinned at Yami and moved closer. "Now, sir, we were discussing my raise-?" He began in the fake voice. The phone rang again.

"Damn." Yami cursed for the second time. Yuugi frowned and sat back, a scowl on his face.

"I don't know about you, but the Pool-Boy isn't going to get the raise by himself." Yuugi stated angrily. He stopped and thought for a moment. "Or maybe he will." He finished with a smirk.

"No, no, please, hold on." Yami said weakly, reaching over and picking up the phone. "Oh my God, what do you want?!"

"Chill out, Yami." Came Seto's voice over the line. "I just called to ask you and Yuugi if you wanted to come to my beach house for summer break." Yami raised his eyebrow.

"Why are you being so nice?" He asked.

"I don't know. I'm charitable." Seto replied sarcastically. "Jounouchi is making me." There was a sudden rustling over the phone, and Yami heard Seto's muffled voice shriek, "_OW! Jou, that really hurt_!"

"You bet your sweet ass that it did. Now stick to the script." Came Jounouchi's voice, far away. Yami snickered.

"Oh, shut your face." Seto growled back into the phone. "Are you coming or what?!"

"Hold on." Yami put a hand over the receiver and turned to Yuugi. "Hey, want to go to Seto's beach house?"

"Oh, I don't know. Will I still get my raise?" Yuugi asked slyly. 

"Yuugi, we aren't playing the game anymore."

"Well, maybe you aren't…" Yuugi grumbled before nodding his head. Yami turned back to the phone.

"Yeah, sure, we'll come. Who else is coming?" Yami asked. Seto snorted.

"All you're stupid, gay friends and their boy lovers. I swear, I need some straight friends." He answered.

"But, you aren't strai- _OW!_ That was my nose!" Came Jounouchi's voice in the background again. Yami snickered for the second time.

"Oh, shut up, stupid Pharaoh." Seto growled. "Just pack your stuff, we're leaving tomorrow."

"Sure thing. Tiger." Yami added, suppressing a laugh as he hung up. He turned back to Yuugi and grinned. "Now, where were we?"

"Sorry." Yuugi said coldly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "The Pool-Boy decided to quit and…" He trailed off. "Darn, I don't know how to make that into a joke."

"Don't worry, I can tell it would have been funny." Yami shrugged and got out of bed. "Come on, let's pack." He went off into their closet. Yuugi smiled.

"Oh Yami…?"

"Yeah?"

"Want to play 'How The Sexy Baggage-Handler Got His Wish'?" Yuugi asked suggestively. Yami smirked.

"Just what I was thinking." He answered. Yuugi let out a high-pitched giggle.

"Oops, sorry sir, I dropped your luggage…"

*** 

"Yuugi?"

"Yes Yami?"

"You haven't told me that you loved me today."

"I love you, Yami."

"You haven't told me how sexy I am today."

"You're sexy, Yami."

"You haven't told me how thin I am today."

"You're so thin, Yami. I'm thinking of calling an intervention."

Yami smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem." Yuugi said as Yami moved away to put his stuff in the trunk of Seto's brand new SUV. It was the only car big enough to fit all of the gang. Ryou raised his eyebrow and stepped up next to Yuugi.

"Do you really need to tell him all that everyday? I thought he was the 'almighty Pharaoh'." Ryou moved his fingers in the invisible quotation marks. Yuugi laughed.

"Well, you see," Yuugi thought for a moment. "Yami is mighty…but also insecure. Kind of like Jesus." He ended brightly, tossing his bag in the trunk. Ryou stood there for another moment in confusion before piling in the car. 

The seating arrangement was as followed; Seto sat hunched over the wheel with Yuugi in the passenger seat. The next row of seats had Bakura sitting by the window eating a small bag of donuts, and Ryou sitting next to him, pointedly there to sit between his darker half and the Pharaoh. Next to Yami, Anzu sat, giggling and humming and generally whoring it up. In the next row, Malik and Yami Malik sat, Yami Malik humming to himself and Malik pounding furiously at his Game-Boy. Next to them sat Jounouchi and Honda, who were laughing and shoving each other.

"Everyone in?" Yuugi called behind him, generally giving himself the position of 'mother' for the remainder of the car ride. 

"Yes!" Came the chorus of teens behind him. Yuugi smiled and dropped back into his seat, fastening his seatbelt as Seto backed the car out of the driveway. Jounouchi and Honda began to roughhouse again, and in doing so knocked into Malik.

"Please refrain from touching me. Thank you." Malik growled, glaring at them. They blinked and shrunk away. Bakura popped another donut into his mouth. Seto glanced into the rearview mirror.

"No eating in the car."

"Why don't you come back here and make me stop?" Bakura said, throwing a donut at the back of Seto's head. Seto grumbled and glared at him.

"Hey!" Yuugi called, turning around in his seat. "No throwing food!" Bakura threw another donut and it bounced off of the back of Yuugi's seat. Yuugi frowned but faced forward. 

Meanwhile, in the middle row, a plan was being formed…

"Psst, Ryou!"

Ryou turned and looked at Yami. "Yeah?"

"Trade spots with me!"

"What? No." Ryou turned back. Yami frowned and poked Ryou in the side.

"Ryou!"

"What?"

"Trade spots with me! I don't want to sit next to Anzu!" Yami pleaded with a paranoid look behind his shoulder.

"I don't want to sit next to her either."

"So? Trade spots with me!"

"No!"

"Please?"

Ryou took one look at Yami's attempt at making puppy dog eyes- he was only succeeding in looking like a rapist- and surrendered.

"Fine." The white haired boy said glumly. They shifted until Ryou was sitting next to Anzu and Yami was sitting next to Bakura. Bakura glanced over and saw that he was no longer sitting next to Ryou. He frowned and looked at Yami before poking him hard in the side.

"Psst, Pharaoh! Trade spots with me!"

*** 

"If you four don't stop changing seats we'll all be lying dead on the sidewalk." Yuugi stated, looking pointedly at Yami, Bakura, Ryou and Anzu. They had been moving around for almost a whole hour, almost causing Seto to crash multiple times. 

"Turn on the radio." Yami Malik whined from the back. "I want to hear Shakira!"

"I'LL SHAKIRA YOU!"

"_OW_!"

"Bakura!" Yuugi cried. "Why did you hit him?" The albino spirit shrugged.

"He's been whining for over twenty minutes about Shakira! Why don't you just marry her already?!" Bakura snapped back at the Egyptian.

"Shut your goddamned mouths, all of you!" Seto shouted over his shoulder. The car became quiet… for all of two seconds.

"Come on, guys! Let's play a game!"

"I'LL PLAY YOUR GAME!"

"_OW! _"

*** 

"Is it bigger than a mailbox?"

"No, sorry Pharaoh. You get five more questions."

"So, it's smaller than a mailbox?"

"Nope. Four left."

"…Is it a mailbox?"

"Damn it!" Bakura moaned, frowning at Yami. "I hate you!"

"Hey, don't blame me because you suck at 20 Questions." Yami smirked and leaned back. Seto reached over and began to fiddle with the radio.

"Uh, Kaiba, we've been on the road for two hours." Yuugi began as Seto surfed through the radio channels. "And you haven't looked at the road once."

"Have too. Besides, I know it's out there." 

*** 

"I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter 'C'." Yuugi said cheerfully. The occupants of the back seats moaned.

"Is it another cow?" Yami asked dully.

"Good job! Now, I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter 'R'."

"For the love of all things holy, please, _please_ tell me it isn't the road again."

"Good answer!" Yuugi exclaimed. "Someone's been practicing!"

The occupants of the back seats moaned again.

-----------------

(A/N)

Hehe… Yami and Yuugi are dorks. What's going to happen? Will they listen to Shakira? Will Kaiba watch the road? Will Bakura beat Yami at 20 Questions? Will I ever continue this story? The answer to all these questions is… maybe. Review or I'll kill you. Actually… no.

Thank you!


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